The girl everyone calls a B*tch

"I am going to have my own sex tonight, but unlike you sweetie, I am not going to be stupid" said Lerato.  Sanele was now annoyed. She was trying to recite the night she broke her virginity to the crew, but Lerato cut in with a mean comment by calling Sanele A Stupid Naive Girl. "Ladies! Whether or not he is a Church boy, every guy and girl must have condoms. And doesn't your guy have a car? Why the hell didn't you ask him to drive to an Engine garage and get them?" Lerato added.

I could see the look on Sanele's face, she was pissed. "So what we didn't use a condom? It was just one time," said Sanele. Lerato shook her head in disapproval. You could see she wanted to say more, but she did not have the energy to get into it. "I am going to sit that side. I don't want to hear this" said Lerato. "Good!" said Sanele. We all muttered, wondering What the hell?!  But Thandi shushed us saying we should not talk like that. Despite what we hear about Lerato at school, she wasn't much of a b*tch. "Well she is smothering me! If I am pregnant I will just get rid of it. What is the big deal?" said Sanele.

From afar,  Lerato giggled. "All you kids of today think having sex is fun without a future consequences streak. I hope you can also abort HIV," said Lerato. You could hear everyone say Agggggg not that lesson about HIV again... 

What was the deal with her? I wondered. According to Thandi, who was now to shade some light, Lerato was also not any different from Sanele. Thandi met Lerato as a sweet girl who wanted nothing more than to find a great guy who will stay. "Isn't that what every girl wants?" said Thandi as she was telling the story. Lerato had wanted to lose her virginity for over a couple of months before coming to varsity, but once she met Moses during her matric year, she was more certain than ever. He was a church guy from the hood, respected old ladies, "he was the full package deal, you couldn't get any better than that" said Thandi.

 For the three days she had known Moses, Lerato was already preparing clothes to wear and songs to dance to and Dance for you by Beyonce' seemed to just fit. "I have been learning the moves for days now. I think he is going to love it" said Lerato, recalled Thandi. 

"I had tried to tell her that she shouldn't rush into this," admitted Thandi. But apparently, Lerato was determined. She had finally met the right guy for her she thought. They had so much in common and she didn't want to waste time trying to figure out whether or not it was right.

When thee day finally came, Thandi was going to cover for Lerato. Lerato's parents thought she was spending the night at Thandi's house, and Thandi was always the good friend as she always knew what to say to our parents. When Lerato left for Moses place, Thandi only expected good news when she came back, but apparently the next day Lerato was calling Thandi at 7 a.m. and begging her to meet her at the clinic. Completely worried, Thandi was just praying Lerato wasn't suddenly crying rape. "What was I going to say to my parents? It would be like I condoned it" sobbed Thandi.

When Thandi got to the clinic, Lerato was not harmed, at all. "She was sitting there, looking as though she just wanted to cry. I did not know what to say" said Thandi. It was a worry for her, should she call Lerato's 'parents or not' and what would be the reason why Lerato is at the clinic? But all Thandi did was just talk to Lerato and tried to make sure everything was fine.

"They had the sex, slept the night through. But when morning came, Moses chased her out and said Lerato was the devils child" said Thandi. Ahhhh we all said.  Moses had some how taken Lerato's virginity and humiliated her in public by calling her the devils daughter. Moses had a reputation to withhold and he wasn't going to let Lerato ruin it for him. "Pfft! Lerato does not stand Church Boys now. She would rather have sex with the biggest player in the hood" said Thandi.

"Well, players do not hide behind the bible" we all heard Lerato say.  And I guess that is why she is so against Sanele's guy. But maybe Sanele's guy is one of the good church guys? said some of the girls in the crew, including Sanele. "That is not the point," said Thandi. But Sanele cut her off and said "I have known David since I was a young girl, he is much older than me like five years older. He is a church guy, a pastors son, he would not do that to me. I was probably also his first" and then Sanele continued as if nothing was learned "We got to his place and I really thought we were not going to do it. But he was just in his sexy boxers and I was in my sexy picked out lingerie that I picked out for him".  They all giggled, but I was curious.

When I turned around, I found Lerato reading. She was no longer her defensive self, and did not care much about Sanele's story now. I went to her and asked "Thandi did not tell us the whole truth, did she?". She looked at me and said "of course not, but it wouldn't matter would it? People wont listen". I wanted to know her story. I wanted to learn, I told her and this is what she shared.

Lerato did actually wait months to break her virginity before giving it to Moses. It was the day she let her guard and gave it to Moses that her whole life changed. "I figure he was just making me feel special and relaxed so that when the day came for me to give him my virginity, it would be because I wanted to do it".

She was 18 years old, she had dreams and she did love him. "I loved him, I trusted him. That's why when he said he wants it skin on skin to feel me better, I did not hesitate. I did not think that this man who made me feel so special was just a man who knew nothing and thought a virgin would cure him of HIV". I did not know what to say. This was not the truth that I expected.

When Moses kicked Lerato out of his house, he humiliated her because he wanted to move focus from himself to her. Moses died a year ago. Lerato was dubbed the bitch. Moses's family claimed that it was Lerato who gave Moses the virus. Lerato never took the time to defend herself. When I asked her why she did not defend herself she said "it is not going to change anything, Moses is still dead and if I spend time worrying about peoples ideas of me, I will die too".

When I went back to the crew, the girls were still giggling and Sanele was going on about how she is considering being on the pill because sex without a condom feels so much better.

I looked at Lerato who went on busying herself.

I thought to myself, she does not reprimand us in an attempt to sound smart or not bitchy. She is just trying to steer us in a different direction. This could happen to any of us. We are just a bunch of varsity girls, completely excited about the prospects of future husbands, but not our futures. Can't we still be excited but also protect ourselves and our futures, can't we?

I guess it will take a little bit longer than that.