I am not crazy, I am PERFECTLY Human

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"I am not crazy". It bugs me that I keep assuring people that I am not crazy or psychotic when in fact I should not prove to anyone that I am not crazy because the more I say it the more I actually look crazy. I have done things in my life, really weird freaky things, but who hasn't? I adopted a habit as a young kid of cutting my self, never with a knife only a pen. For example, if I were upset or unhappy I would take a ball point pen and just keep scribbling on my skin, often I would only feel pain but sometimes I would go so deep and actually have scars, yes I once did that but I grew out of it. Personally I do not think it is any different or as severe as smoking. So does this make me crazy? No! It makes me human.

Every time when I feel guilty of the many things I have done I always listen to Brandy Human and I accept we make mistakes, we do stupid things because we want to protect ourselves. In no way do I condone suicidal attempts but I never judge people that do. I also go through the heavy treatment of life and it sometimes feels appropriate to just run from it. People treat you bad or you just cannot seem to get things right at school or work, you cannot seem to make or keep friends or relationships. It does not make you weak or pathetic, it makes you human. If you are not happy with your choices after years of making them and you regret the choices, it does not make you stupid, it makes you human. They are just things and thoughts we go through as humans. They are inevitable. No matter how brave, poor or rich or skinny or fat you and I will certainly go through these moments at least once in our lives till we accept that we are human.

You know I curse at times and I wish time will quicken up a bit. I cry in the bath tub, I talk to myself, I forget my keys while I have them right in my hands and at times I just feel sorry for myself. This is not craziness, it is just being human. All the things we always want to change about ourselves, it is the things that make us who we are, it is the things that make life worth living. No matter how strong you think you are, don't pretend as though you are invincible, everyone goes through pain and heart ache, we all do feel worthless and helpless at times.

 But truth is what makes you a human being is when you accept that some days are good some days are bad. Some times at a certain moment it feels right to just run away. Sometimes it is okay to be scared and not feel enough for someone you love. They are all just feelings of being human. I must say though I am always shocked at the way people come to me and judge me for the choices I have made back in the past or call me crazy because I chose to follow my feelings. At the knowledge of marriage I ran away, why? I mean after all girls welcome marriage. I did not. I did not because I did not even know what I wanted out of life, I needed space to think. And long after I made that choice, yes I regretted it. I wanted to go back and explain why I did what I did. I was very scared and I wanted my fears to be acknowledged and understood, it did not mean that I loved the person less. I am human I have fears. But I admire myself even more because I was able to accept my mistakes and of course it will take time to get over the regret. It is  life and we are merely humans.

Well we can thank Brandy for releasing such an amazing song. I know everyone will relate to it. I particularly love the chorus:As Brandy says  I'm only human) Forgive me (I'm only human) Love me (I'm only human) Save me, save me from myself (I'm no super woman) Embrace me (I'm fragile and broken) 
You're just like me (oh) 

Well for the rest of the lyrics and the song here is the link to the Youtube video. Hope you will enjoy it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=Int2juEMQoI


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