No Sugar Daddy for me

I have to say this ‘This is just getting out of hand’. How does one react when you meet a group of girls between the ages of 15 and 17 talking about how much they would love to have a ‘Sugar Daddy”? When has having a man who is old enough to be your father, showering you with gifts and money in exchange of ‘unprotected sex’ become ‘cool’? When has telling a 15 year old that they are mature for understanding that you are a married man and have 5 children her age, and that you love them and are taking care of them become moral? What is going on? Why are people just laughing and gossiping when in a club they see a 20 year old sitting on a lap of a man who is 65 fondling in public and are not doing anything about it? I wish so much that I had a younger sister to motivate, just as my sisters have motivated me. As I walk behind these 15 year olds while they talk about how much they yearn for an opportunity to have anything at any moment, I do not particularly judge them I stop and wonder ‘What changed my mind?’ 

Having a ‘Sugar Daddy’ has moved from being a trend to a necessity. About two out of five university girls have ‘Sugar Daddies’. One of those girls has a ‘Sugar Daddy’ just for the pleasure of having someone who she does not necessarily have to worry about him breaking her heart, but someone who is mature enough to pay the bills, while the other girl has a ‘Sugar Daddy’ because her family is counting on her as the bread winner, and to pay for her tuition fees. I do not sympathise with either of the girls but I do not necessarily judge them. In this situation I choose not to judge because I once were in a position where I considered having a ‘Sugar Daddy’ because, just as one of the girls, I enjoyed the idea of having someone who will spoil me without me having to worry about them breaking my heart. However, my mentality was shaken, not by another person’s views, beliefs or experiences, but rather by an ability that many are lazy to make use of, the ability to think.

My family is not the richest but we are not struggling. I am thankful for those little things that I can afford and as much as I want a car, I cannot drive yet. I would love to have a flashy cell phone, expensive clothes, and a chance to be taken out to the fanciest restaurants. I would always have money in my bank account so I would never starve like a typical student who lives of noodles. Nevertheless, where is the happiness in this and where is that urge that makes you want to get your degree sooner? As much as I would have all the money I desperately want (because sometimes, as a student, just having money is good enough) and I would have clothing brands to make me feel like a celebrity. However, at the end of the day I would still be alone and with the money growing, so are the chances of me being infected with HIV or 
STD/STI’s.  Still, where is the happiness? I went back to that consideration of having a ‘Sugar Daddy’ and I stretched my thinking to the long term. I would have my own apartment and, with the money that I would have saved up from the past months with my ‘Sugar Daddy’, I could establish my own company (not a typical ‘Sugar Daddy’ mentality for a girl). Nevertheless, I am not at all pleased with the thoughts of having a ‘Sugar Daddy’ do everything for me. Where goes the joy in this of being able to say, ‘I struggled to get here?’ I have wondered who gets into something without thinking of the consequences.

Considering having a ‘Sugar Daddy’ was a joke that my roommate and I would always laugh about last year. We would sit and wonder about how some girls would just let a 60 year old man (hairy, flabby, heavy, potbelly, and chances of having a heart attack) get on top of them, moaning about how great you taste inside. That is the most disgusting image ever. If you are a girl out there with a ‘Sugar Daddy’ and he looks like that, don’t you dare lie and say that, that ‘disgusting image’ has never crossed your mind, and do not tell me how the money is all worth it. I am not going to preach to you about how wrong it is, because I know that you already know that. But where is the self respect, the self love? 

I have always sucked at sympathising with people who use their bodies to gain finances or material things. That is what prostitutes or girls with ‘Sugar Daddies’ do. However, I do not particularly judge them for doing so. Often friends ask me what the difference is between myself (by which my boyfriend gets me gifts and gives me money) and a prostitute or ‘Sugar Daddy’ girls, who gives sexual pleasures for money? And I always say “I make sure that there is a balance of 50/50 in the relationship” and then with prostitutes and ‘Sugar Daddy’ girls, most often the motivation is just MONEY. 

I am not the type of person to just sit back and not consider the many reasons why people do what they do. In this world that we are living in, POWER is what makes things move. Most men use their POWER of MONEY to lure most women into having SEX with them. Most women use their POWER of SEX to lure most men into using MONEY on them. However, that is not my point, I believe the POWER of money and sex has been clarified in too many ways. My point is however, has this POWER stretched to our future generations (15 and 17 year olds)? Or is my question too late and I should be asking about 7 to 12 year olds? I am not hoping that this piece will change the world, however I am hoping that it will change the mindset of the person who is reading this. Man or Woman. 

Just take a moment and think about your six year old niece. Right now she is probably playing with her R8.99 doll from Shoprite and is grateful. But in a few years, by the time she is 9 years old, although this mentality of POWER won’t be from how she is brought up at home but how the world operates, she might be sleeping with 15 year old boys hoping to get money or a Gucci doll. I know it is an over exaggeration, but I remember the days when I use to over exaggerate about how my 14 year old cousin would be drinking at taverns and fighting with married women and scaring them to the point of going to jail, but guess what? She did all those things and now has a 2 year old daughter with an uncertain future. 

I have nieces and nephews and I definitely want my own children one day. I want them fully disciplined. However, there is only so much that can be taken from being raised in a home. I believe that all the lessons about discipline should be directed at teaching children about ‘self love’. The future begins every day, so take a stand. You might not change everybody, but you could change someone’s life and make them say ‘I DO NOT WANT A SUGAR DADDY”