It's Time to Pat yourself on the Back

I sat down today by myself, and counted the number of times I looked at my reflection in the mirror and actually lied to myself. It was saddening, because the number of times I had lied to myself exceeded the number of times I had actually told myself how i appreciated myself. It is one thing to be appreciated by other people, however their appreciation might not be sincere, but the love you show yourself is essential as it can carry you throughout anything.

I have never told anybody my story, never felt that i needed to. But if you are like me and you meet people every day, you will know that although our stories are different the pain and hurt is something that we all experience and it sets us all back, but what separates us is how we handle it. do you let it take over your life?or do you take it, cover it all up with lies and hope that one day you will forget that it ever happened? or are you one of the lucky ones who are able to let it go and move on with life? are you? No matter who you are, rich, poor, clever or dum, we all go through pain and it is imperative to make each other aware of this, so that when you walk in a room filled with people, you dont feel inferior or superior to anybody.

I lost my biological mother at the age of nine, and it was painful, not when i was nine but when i realised how imporatnt having a mother is. Some one to share your secrets with, a bestfriend that you will never lose.
I thought I would never have that, and the fact that my mother gave me away to my aunt made things worse, and then when i found out that my father rejected me, all I wanted was to die. I spent my whole life trying to figure out what was so ugly about me that nobody wanted me. I tried killing myself at least twice, I adopted a habit of cutting myself because it felt good, I could concentrate on the pain i felt outside without having to think about what i was feeling inside. however, that did not work out well as the cuts started to show and people were asking questions, so i started drinking and in order for me to forget it all, i had to keep on drinking over and over again. I spent 11 years of my life hurting the one person who never gave up on me... MYSELF!!!

Although, I was trying to kill my self, and was cutting myself, i had dreams and I never forgot a single one. i dont know how, or why, but everything else in my life went accordingly... In school i was one of the A learners, i went to the varsity i had planned to go to, so what was missing? Why did i spend my whole life blaming myself? That is because i did not appreciate myself...

Appreciate yourslef!!! You know, the phrase that goes like "trust nobody but God and yourself" is true. People will always hurt you, and all you can ever do for those people is forgive them, and for youself? Just move on... it lessens the worries. Open yourself up to possibilities, yes some will hurt, but you can also find pleasure in them.

Its time to pat yourself on the back, you have been through a lot, you are a fighter you can take on anything if you have ever felt the pain of this world.