The Boy in the Red Jacket

 "Three hundred and twenty four" I said. I tried to force a smile and, an "I do not care look", but there was just something about that high number that sent shivers down my spine. You also looked rather astonished and slightly confused, but maybe that was just me hoping.

We were sitting at a Wimpy's restaurant, waiting for my parents to pick me up and your big brother to finish his shift at Woolies across the street. I had told you that I wanted to take you out, which you said seemed rather pushy but you could never say no to food. I saved the little pocket money my daddy gave me every day to try and get you the biggest Wimpy burger they had. You decided to get their famous big Wimpy Burger and an Apple juice, and I got just about the same, but with a chocolate milkshake.

I stared at you, chewing ferociously at the burger and, I have to be honest I did not see this bad monstrous boy  my friend Gordon said you are. Instead, I saw a hungry carefree boy who didn't wanna pretend as if he is all ordered and perfect. Gordon has a major problem with you. Although many think that he likes you, I would like to believe that he is just envious.

Gordon is my supposedly gay friend, you know, the one I use to share a table with. On my first day at Jerkins Miller High School, our class teacher Mr. Kadja said I should sit next to Gordon. Mr. Kadja made gestures that seemed to hint that Gordon will understand you, he understands girls.

When I met Gordon, I wasn't sure if anybody else realised it or tried  to notice, that Gordon isn't gay, especially if you are to judge him by his rather 'for feminine' attitude. He is a boy who likes to surround himself with girls in an attempt to gain immunity, just in case a girl gets drunk and Gordon is just... there.

I fail to believe that he is gay. Sure the way he walked, talked and seemed to know everyone's business, especially yours, made him seem gay. But he always seemed to know something bad about every boy in class, except himself. He made it seem like he was some Godly sent 'Steve'.

Anyway, Gordon knows every girl from J.M.H.S that you  have laid with. He also ensured that I hear that part where you completely broke their hearts and played them for a fool. "You need to stay away from Fisher. He uses girls; and I am sure he will try to get in your pants." said Gordon, with a rather convincing look.

'Fisher' I thought, charming.

Gordon's plea was meant to keep me away from you, but strangely it drew me even closer to you.

I hadn't met you yet, but I knew you were our class prefect and, I was told that it was your duty to make sure I had all the school equipment (a Tablet, a proper working mouse for my laptop and a lock for my table). You walked in and headed towards Mr Kadja's desk, Gordon was nudging me from the side as a hint that, this is Fisher, the guy I was telling you about.

Lost in thought, I began to think I was right, you are charming.

I was drawn in by your confidence, fearlessness and complete suave. As I stared at you, inch by inch, I could feel that I was not breathing, your presence completely suffocated me.  My conscience kept on saying "Gordon said he is bad, quickly look away" but my response was well that's good, because I am just as bad too. 

You then came  to my table, said my name in such a lustful sense, "you must be Oletta" you said. I couldn't help myself; I felt my lips utter words of desire, "and you must be... naughty Fisher" I said with a sinful smile that said I meant that in the most dirtiest way. We must have been thinking the same thing as you responded back with just about the same smile. When you left, Gordon asked me what I think of you and I said "he is definitely bad alright".

For a while after our flirtatious encounter, we continued to give each other smiles as you passed by my table, going up and down to the principals office... The sight of your buttocks, your body, your smile hmmm. Then the smiles became rather tedious, I wanted more. I wanted to get to know this bad bad Fisher. 

Fate must have heard my prayer, as my Tablet started acting up. I was told to talk to you and inform you of my problems said Mr. Kadja. Subconsciously, just subconsciously, I knew it was a bad idea, but I asked Mr. Kadja if I could have your numbers and maybe you could help me over Skype.

Here we were, chatting on Skype, a chance to secretly lure you in, as you hadn't made the move that Gordon said you will make. I wanted to get a chance to reject you. A chance other girls did not have. But our Skype conversations went from the Tablet problem to talking about people in class, to me asking if I could get a chance to kiss you. You seemed to not mind as you said "well, how about after school today".

Nervous, and feeling completely dumb at that moment; as I did not think you would say yes. I passed by the girls toilets and tried to freshen up. I didn't want to create a bad impression. You could not possibly like him? I heard my conscience say. I stared at myself in the mirror, and I assured myself that "Yes, I could never. I just wanna see how bad he is"

You waited for me outside, in that 'red jacket'... so cute I thought. It some how made you look even more daring and completely worth it.

At age 18 and in Matric, it was easy for us not to care what others thought as we walked together despite our classmates goggling at us. I could hear them from a distance away "why is the new girl with Fisher?" they said. I wondered if they felt sorry for me or just felt pure envy.

But you were relaxed and carefree about our meeting... You talked as if you wanted me to know you, and I responded back respectively. We talked about your ex girlfriends, your family, your likes and dislikes; it was amazing.  For a second I wondered he must be feeling the connection as I am. You laughed genuinely, smiled genuinely, asked questions that mattered and best of all you made me feel special. 

 I think I was beginning to like you. 

As we were about to kiss, we made a promised that it will be just one kiss. An agreement was made. And then we kissed.... I SAW STARS

The kiss that we just shared turned my "I think" to an "I know I like you". 

I pretended to hate the kiss, by making a stupid look on my face. I did not want you to have that hold over me. Rather you feel the embarrassment, than me right? 

When my parents came to pick me up, I could not stop thinking about that kiss. Wet but meaningful...You knew just how to touch me. You led and I obediently followed, and as our lips locked it felt like we were kissing for hours. 

In the days that followed, we chatted a lot on Skype during class, and saw each other as many times as possible after school. The flirting's suddenly felt more than that, as I began to feel bubbly and shy around you. My connection to you has now become emotional. 

We do not mention the first kiss in our chats or during after school meetings; or even the chance of other kisses. Until one day after our long walk, you suggest we should try it again "maybe the second time will be better" you said. Is he trying to convince himself, or he wants to kiss me as much I wanna kiss him?

I giggle, pretending as if I did not want you to say that. But without hesitation, we kiss again. I start to blush remembering how good it feels to have your lips against mine. Remembering the look of the stars you made me see the last time when I closed my eyes the first time we kissed. 

Kissing you, you kissing me. I am interrupted as I feel a moist sensation between my thighs, which causes me to push you away. I hide the sensation and the restless twitch  by crossing my legs. It felt so strong, it seemed like I might explode. 

 I look at you, feeling a little embarrassed, preparing to apologise. As I look up, I see you had turned away from me. I begin to feel even more ashamed and completely humiliated. And without saying anything else, I ask rudely "was it that bad again?". You look back at me with a smile on your face, now he is laughing at you my conscience says. But as you look down, directing my eyes to below your abdominal area, what I see next makes me blush even more. There is a swelling in your pants. 

It seems, we are attracted to each other. When I get home, I can't stop giggling, laughing and I tell myself that I cannot wait to feel what is to come next. I looked forward to waking up and getting to school to chat to you. 

I do not hide it and I tell you "I want you" and "we should make it happen" at my dad's beach house next weekend, you don't have to worry about paying anything "just bring yourself" I say. At first you say you do not mind, and you are looking forward to it. But as we get closer to the day, when we are meant to lay, you begin to open up and you tell me of how you are scared of girls like me, rich girls who have everything. 

I feel insulted and confused; as all I have been doing is showing you that every moment I spend with you is all that matters. Suddenly, the curiosity I had for you turns into desperation, as I began to ask you ""what do you want me to do, I will do anything?". I want to have that special weekend with you. "You cannot buy my time or my attention" you say to me. I try to explain to you that money means nothing to me. If you wanted to take me out, you could have, you should have. But nothing I say seems to convince you, as you start listing all the other girls who you let buy your time and your attention.

I feel tears starting to form in my eyes, as I cannot explain how we went from doing well, to you seemingly despising my background and my family.  

 I suddenly wanted you to like me, to want me as I wanted you... But out of fear, and realisation that it will never happen, I choose to run away. I could not bear the idea of not being what you wanted. A poor girl.

"Boy in the red jacket, I wish there was a way to please you without harming you. I wish you felt the way I do. All I wanted to do, was to see you smile and see you pleased."

 "Boy in the Red Jacket, every moment I spent with you was never a waste. I remember the day our fingers touched when we were walking side by side. I felt a tinge of electricity running from you to me."  

"Boy in the Red Jacket, I only wish theRe was a way to tell you how I feel." 

"Boy in the Red Jacket, I wish I could be number 325"

"Boy in the Red Jacket, I do not care about the other 324"

"Boy in the Red Jacket, you could have been my first" 

"Boy in the Red Jacket, sadly, we might never see each other again" 

"Boy in the Red Jacket...My heart was once yours... " 

"Boy in the Red Jacket... you lost a love that was priceless"