It is your mid-life crisis, not love

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Today I had an amazing conversation with a very good friend of mine. He happens to be 15 years older than me, a divorcee and he has two kids. He asked me to hook him up with one of my friends or somebody that I know. My response to him was “even if I was single, I wouldn’t date you.” He said I was being very rude and that all he is looking for is love. Love? Please! I disagree. 

But Wait! I am not against love. 

Let me explain...

I find it rather selfish for a man with so much baggage to be asking me or my friends out. What exactly will I be dealing with, with a man with two kids, an ex-wife who hates his guts and his big family? Well, let me tell you. If I choose to date this man at my age, 25, I will have to deal with his two kids who will hate me, not because I am 25 but because their mother told them to. Number two, I will have to deal with snappy comments and bitchy remarks from the ex-wife who thinks I am the reason he is not paying maintenance. And lastly, I will be the talk of every single one of his big family meetings, as everyone wonders how I bewitched him and how they can get rid of this senyama (curse). 

Yes! I think about such things.

I know how this probably makes me seem. But I am sorry. I do not even have a child or ever been married. Plus I do not want to deal with such drama all for the sake of what he deems as love. 

Are there men who really think this? 

For Godsakes... Love is supposed to be simple! 

I know  lot of girls my age date older men and its their choice, not judging at all. Mine is just not to, because this is the reality:You older man, with your 20,21, 25 year old girl friend whom you are seemingly in love with does not love you, just as you do not love her. Just as you love the idea she comes with, that of youth, longevity, flexibility; she also loves the ideas you represent...Stability! Money! Marriage! Money! Money! Money! Money! 

I told my friend that he is just going through a mid-life crisis, and that it is okay. It is not a crime. But, we really need to stop being naive people! I understand that there was a disagreement between him and his wife and that led to a very nasty divorce. Its okay, I hear mid-life crisis is harder for men. But, do not think just because you are snuggling with a 22 year old it is love. It's not, your family is love. 

Right now, my dear old buddy, you just miss being young. You miss not being told to do this and that just because it is your responsibility. Before you make the biggest mistake of your life, take a moment to your self, do not divorce your wife... You will regret it. But hell, you need to grow up someday. 

Age is but just a number and there are people who do find love, eventually... But, do not say its 'love'. Right now, it is a mid-life crisis... Let's just call it what it is and stop shying away from reality. It is your mid-life crisis... Now deal with it! 



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